Tears on a Treadmill

[I forgot to post this on January 5]

I have never been more appreciative of an empty gym than I was today, as I had a breakdown right there on the treadmill. It was one of those moments when inside, my heart just broke, and there was no stopping the flood. This is so not the strong, independent face I usually show to the world, but hey, it happens to all of us at some point. If you have never experienced that, then either a) it is coming, or b) you are not living life to the fullest.

As we live, we should be learning. As we learn, we should be growing into better people. As you grown, you have to go through seasons of pruning, where areas of your life are cut back, or completely cut out. If you want to grow into a better person, you cannot skip the pruning phase. If you have ever had a rose bush, you would understand. Sometimes you have to cut off a beautiful blossom, or a cute little bud before it blossoms, and sometimes you have to cut off a whole branch. If you do not prune, you will end up with one massive monster of thorns enveloping all other life around it. Sometimes there are areas of our life that we do not realize are growing out of control and choking the life out of the people and places around us. We go go go and then stop to look one day and see desolation around us and wonder when in our life did we stop blooming and where did everybody go? The good news is, in time, after much pruning, life and beauty can be restored, and you too can experience new growth.

This means you need to break up with a significant other, maybe you need to get some new friends, maybe you need a new job. Sometimes this means you need to have a long, honest look at yourself. Are you being the kind of person you want to be? I bet as you are reading this now, there is already something or someone on your mind. Think long and hard about who you want to be, where you want to be heading, what you want your life to mean, and evaluate whether the people and place you spend your time are helping you get there or not. If not, maybe it is time to get out the pruning shears.

This has been one of the hardest things for me to do because I like everyone to be happy. It was only a few years ago that I finally realized that not everyone needed to like me, and I did not need to try to like everyone. I had a bad “best friend” that I could no longer make excuses for, and idiot guy who I had no idea why I made excuses for to begin with, and I dumped them all and took a new job in a new state. Sometimes you just have to make a clean break. The year following was not an easy one, not all of my life’s problems were resolved, but that is another tale for another time. However, I finally had the freedom to grow into the kind of person I wanted to be, surrounded by people who helped me and didn’t hurt me, and after a season of pruning, I am starting to see many new things blossom in my life.


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