What to do when your mind won’t shut up? Let it out.
What do you do when you think you have found the very thing you think you have been looking for potentially your entire life but it is miles away, like 2,497 miles away? As I said, you just think this is it, you are not sure. Do you give up everything you have, life as you know it, and go chase the possibility of attaining it? Or do you wait and trust that it will come to you? Or do you trust fate enough to maybe meet along the way, somewhere out there in the wide world? What if all of your friends and family think you are absurd for even entertaining the idea that this could be what you are missing being that you have never even tried it before?
Sometimes all I can think is that I think too much. We overcomplicate our lives. I don’t want to make the mistake of not making the most of opportunity, but you have to balance out what opportunities to take and which are better to let pass by. I have yet to see someone have it all. It is the curse, we are imperfect tainted people. Perfection will never be achieved this side of Heaven. I am not striving for perfection; I want to live life to the full, abundant, overflowing.
So do you take that chance? The one that makes absolutely no sense what so ever? Do you give everything you know over to inquire whether this completely unknown thing is right for you? Do you leave your job, your family, your home full of belongings and make that trek to the land of uncertainty? I wish I had a sign. I do not lack the courage or the ability to up and move; I have done it before and I am sure I can do it again. I want the next move I make to be one of purpose, of meaning, a place when I can put down some roots. I do not want to be haphazard with the things I have been blessed with and entrusted with. I absolutely do not want to waste my life; I do not want to waste time wondering; but I do not want to waste time being comfortable either. My head is going to implode, of this I am sure. I wish there was a way to know. This is absolutely racking my brain to no end. I am no more resolute than when I first started rambling. I must commit the matter to prayer, that God may grant me wisdom to chose the right thing, the best thing, and grant me the courage to do so. Here is to another restless night.