Unsettled

my traveling companions

The past few years I have been on a search for a place where I can belong, a place I can become.  I am wondering if there exists one such place. I have succeeded at both in the short term, but  I have yet to make the long run. I find that the more of the world I explore, the more I enjoy it, all of it. Even the least desireable destinations have something to be admired and cause me to esteem the former location even more.

Right now I spend 1/3 of my life working, 1/3 traveling, and 1/3 sleeping. Many people are tempted to envy such a life, but I have to state the obvious that traveling is unsettling. My job feels like nothing more than a job. If you have ever had the pleasure of doing something you love and got paid for it, then you will understand me when I say that a job does not have to feel like a job-it can be so much more. I want more than just a financially rewarding job. I also long for a place to call home, besides the place where I grew up. I do love the traveling, but I long for a place to plant my roots and blossom. Right now, my heart and my mind could not be further from settled.

I realize that this side of Heaven I will never feel 100% at home, being that I am separated from God, the only one who knows me and loves me unconditionally. I am still searching for that place here on earth where I feel closest to my Creator and where I can become the best possible version of me. I still think that there is a place to belong and a place to become in this life that I have yet to discover. I will spend that third searching, the other third working hard to get there, and the last third dreaming of that day. Maybe my next place from which I write will be that place.

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