You read it right, I graduated! Finally! Five years, two degrees, and more lessons learned than could ever be discussed. I would like to tell you that life has been fabulous since passing such a milestone. I would like to tell you the reason that I have not written is because I have been off on some wild post grad excursion. On the contrary, life has been moving along at a slow pace with a schedule as demanding as working part-time and hanging out with friends can be.
Lazy is one thing I am not, do not get me wrong. It’s just that I have no certainty about this new phase of life I have been forced to enter. For every reason I can think of to pack up and move, I can think of a reason to stay. I have an opportunity to go and experience something new, something different, and I think if it comes down to just making a decision and going with it, I’m going to take the chance and move. I have time to come back if it is not a good fit. Mostly, I do not want to look back in a few years and say “Man, I wish I would have done that while I had the chance.” Which brings me to another conclusion I reached tonight- I am seriously looking into going to Europe this summer. I have the time, I have the money, and that may very well never occur at once ever again. I have been waiting for someone to come with, but they just say they want to, they don’t save money or do research or dream about it from age 12. Maybe a trip out of selfish America, a month of freedom from opinions, and adventure is exactly what I need to give me a fresh wind and clarity about the direction I want my life to head. I am not trying to plan the next 10 years of my life, I have realized that is unrealistic and unnecessary, I am just trying to find what fits now because if I don’t get on the right path here, I definitely will find myself in the wrong place 10 years from now.
Someone asked me if I thought I was being selfish about it all- the traveling, figuring out what I want to do, where I want to go, what I want to be. I thought about it for a second, but then I realized, no, I am not being selfish. This is how I was made. I have this unexplainable appetite in me that craves culture; I love nothing more than to experience different people in different places. When I do the things I love, I am a better person. When I stop doing the things I love, I stop loving. I need to be actively pursuing the desires within me, because only when I am being who I was made to be am I truly filled with joy, joy that is only meant to be shared. When we stop being who we need to be, we stop doing all of the other things we should be doing, and we stop sharing with other people. On Sunday I heard a pastor say that we are not made to be a whole person because we were meant to need each other. That has stuck in my head. It ties into the reason why I need to seek out who I am supposed to be- someone needs me, and I need someone. If I am not being myself, I cannot fully serve another’s needs, nor will I recognize what it is that I need in another. I believe that each one of us was designed in a most unique, precise, and deliberate design. We need not be afraid to be who we are created to be, because becoming anything else is to miss out and leave void the space that only you can fill.
Way to go from nothing to a full load of a post right? Well, at least you have something to read, and hopefully something to think about.